I have the BEST friends in all of France

France 11, Gina 24. The battle continues....

Well yesterday was the day of my Disney Audition and I know you're all dying to hear about it since that was my original intent in coming over here, so here it goes!

I woke up at 6:30 in the morning, printed out my CV (French version of a resume), and got out of the house early so I'd be sure to get there in time to warm up, stretch, etc... I walked to the bus stop and saw the sign for the RER station lit up and got on the next bus that came. I'm off! Or so I thought.....

Turns out there's more than one RER station, and I went to the wrong one on the total and complete opposite side of the city. When I discovered my mistake, I went into panic mode. I ran to the lady at the information desk and asked if there happened to be more than one RER station and told her where I was going, and she said I needed to be at the other one. Of course. I asked her if there was a bus station nearby and she listed a few stops where I could get the bus but of course I have no idea where any of those places were. She said something about crossing a street and going over a bridge but I was too stressed out and worried to fully pay attention to what she was saying (PS-for future reference to anyone out there, if you're ever speaking to someone in a foreign language and they're giving you really important information, PAY ATTENTION to what they are saying). I just went back to the stop where the bus I had been on let me off and thankfully it said a bus to take me to the right station was on it's way, but it wouldn't get there for another 13 minutes. PANIC. This means I definitely wasn't going to arrive early to the audition. That looks bad. Really bad. Ohhhhhhh Lord please have mercy.......

Thankfully I got on the right bus which brought me to the right station and I did get on the right train. It arrived at the station just as I was entering the platform so I didn't have to waste time waiting for it, and the same happened with the next train I had to take (I had to switch from the RER A to the M9 at Nation). Merci Dieu. But, when I got off the M9 train, there were no signs for the exit! There seemed to be a million different paths all leading to connecting trains, but I could not for the life of me figure out the way to get out. I wasted a good ten minutes just trying to get out of the train station onto the right street. I eventually found it, and fortunately the dance studio wasn't far at all from the métro stop. And when I got there, the doors weren't even open yet and everyone was waiting outside to be let in, so Praise the Lord I wasn't late and there was nothing to be embarrassed about or to make me look bad from the start.

Ok. Breathe. Shake it out, let out all the nerves you built up. Fresh slate. Time to have fun.

The audition actually went quite well. There were about 50 people there auditioning. They brought us to the dressing rooms to freshen up and get set, and then we entered the audition space. They split us up into a group that speaks french and the group that couldn't speak french. Of course I would have much rather heard everything in english, but I didn't want them to think I wasn't capable of speaking french because I quite am, so I stayed on the french speaking side, and I understood everything the Casting member said, Merci Seigneur. The lady, Babeth, explained everything about disney and then we filled out audition forms and they took our height and feet measurements (yes, they wanted to know how big our feet were. I have absolutely no clue why. Maybe to see if anyone can fit in the big Goofy shoes?)

The first part was the Animation section. We had 8 counts each to transform into a cowboy, a pirate, one of the seven dwarfs (whichever we chose), an evil villain (again, whichever we chose), and then a princess. We must have repeated this for close to a half hour over and over and over again, but it was fun.I remembered all the advice various people had given me (like don't forget to wave downwards to small children and pretending that I was just playing a game with small children to keep me from getting nervous) and kept my biggest cheesiest smile plastered on my face so long it hurt but I didn't care. And I must give a shout out to Susan Creitz for all the improv classes, which definitely must have helped because when we broke up into small groups (to perform the time that "really counted") I got put in the first group and the man, Daniel, flat out stated that we were the people who had done the best and that everyone else could take pointers for their turns. After performing 3 times (ugh) in our small groups, they made the first round of cuts. And I made it!!!! Woot woot alright, Go Gina, Go Gina!!!

Next was the dance part. It wasn't that complicated of a combination, although the music was a little fast. Choreography? Check. Confidence? Check. Corny Smile? Check. Overly exaggerated movements? Double check. I was happy and confident in the way I performed. This time when cuts were made, only 4 girls were left.... and I was one of them!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSS. In French we say, "C'est dans la poche" which literally can be translated as it's in the pocket, but it means the same thing as it's in the box, as in I got this, it's a piece of cake, etc...

Well Safie and the email Disney sent me had said there were just those 2 parts, Animation and Dance, so I assumed I was in already. But then, after everyone else had left and it was just us 4 girls and I was sure I had the job, Daniel said he was going to now teach us more difficult choreography. Basically, we had 5 minutes to learn the phrase which was significantly more difficult than the first one. I admit I struggled while I was learning it, but when it came time to perform and "audition" I did the best I could and I thought I did pretty well all things considered- I got all the movements in and was right on time. But in the end, Daniel called me over and said that even though he really really liked me and absolutely loved my smile, my dancing wasn't quite strong enough to be in the Disney Parade. He said he felt bad and was impressed that even though I struggled learning the combination that I performed it as well as I did, but I needed to be a little stronger. He did give me his card though and told me to audition again in September because he really would like to see me again. I'm not sure how much of that I believe because I've been to quite a few auditions and they all have a habit of saying things along those lines but whatever. I got my things and headed back towards the metro station.

France gets 10 points for this because it's something I really wanted.

I'll admit, disappointment is something I don't deal with very well. Other emotions come and go and that's fine, but when I get my heart set and my hopes up of having something happen and it doesn't, it's really really hard for me. I mean, I didn't cry or anything because in my reasoning God has some sort of plan for me and just because it wasn't the one I wanted doesn't mean I need to get that upset. I really wasn't quite sure how to feel- part of me felt like I should be more upset than I was, part of me was bothered by the fact that i was even the slightest bit upset because shouldn't I just be trusting and finding comfort in the Lord? So I didn't know if I should be upset or happy or what but honestly I just felt nothing, numb, and I wasn't quite sure what to do. Normally I've coped with hardships by just going home (because for the most part I've lived alone for the past 5 years) and deal with it on my own. I knew that someone was going to be home here and I have nowhere to go to sit and think through things by myself. I thought about going to the park that's right near the house for a while and have some "me alone" time there but when the bus stopped, I really just wanted to go home and figured I'd take a nap and that would be enough me alone-ness. But I got home and only JC was home- he asked me how it went and I was really nervous/embarrassed but I told him all about it and he gave me two hugs and told me he was really proud of me and said he was really impressed because being in the top 4 out of 50 is a big deal even if I wasn't chosen. Then he made me lunch and kept talking to me for literally over 2 hours about this that and the other thing (the last bit of our conversation was on the differences between men and women. It was a really funny conversation). Praise God for that. For all you Twilight fans out there, he kind of reminds me of Jasper and how he can control emotions because every time I talk to him, I almost immediately feel calmed down and like all is right in the world. I dont know what it is- he is just really good at calming me down, even when I dont think he's actually aware of all the emotions and feelings raging war inside of me. I'm very grateful for my big brother. Oh, and then he set up a hammock for me to sit outside and read/sleep/use my computer. The weather was finally gorgeous, around 75 degrees and it really was a beautiful day.

Gilles came home next and he was more sympathetic, like he figured I'd be upset so he seemed upset for me too. Yadira came home and gave me a big hug and offered to watch episodes of Criminal Minds (my favorite TV show, dubbed in French) with me. During this time, Gilles went to the supermarket and when he got home, he and JC got to work making a "surprise" dinner for me. They definitely spent over an hour working on it and it smelled soooooooo good but they wouldn't let me look and see what it was. I had to laugh because they kept asking me if I liked all these different ingredients they were going to put in, and I told them to just do whatever they wanted but they both said, "Noooooo but we want to make sure you like it!" How sweet of them. First we had an appetizer of shredded beets with a poached egg and some kind of creamy sauce on top of it. It was really good. Then came the big surprise............ *drumroll please*................... DUCK à l'orange, my favorite dish ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe Gilles went out and bought duck and then he and JC made it just for me to brighten my day? Aren't these the most awesome people ever? And then we had homemade cherry jam that JC and Gilles made from all the cherries we picked for dessert. JC had to leave for work right after the meal was done, but on his way out, he said to me, "Well Gina I hope this dinner helped you feel encouraged and motivated to not give up. Be proud of yourself because 4 out of 50 is a real achievement and we're really proud of you too and this was a real reason to celebrate." Even when Silvia came home, Gilles told me, "You have to tell her the good news!" What good news? In my mind I failed, and yet, these people were still happy and even celebrating for me. Wow. That's love right there. That's people who really care about you.

So yes I'm disappointed, but I try to remember the words that Pastor Mike Rozell spoke when he and his wife came to my church as Potter's Field Ministries. The clay doesn't know what the Potter is doing. It just yields itself and lets the Potter do what He has planned to do (because the Potter always has a plan of exactly what the end product would look like before He even touches the clay). When they were at our church, Mike started out by making this beautiful beautiful vase, with quite an intricate design on top. And then, halfway through the presentation, he broke it in half! I have to admit, I was quite surprised that he would ruin something so beautiful (my friend Amanda and I even turned to each other and exclaimed, "What did he do that for?!?!"). But after all the excess and broken clay was taken out, he made a beautiful bowl with what was left and filled it up to overflowing with water. He then explained to us that all along, even before the show started and he touched the clay, he knew that he was going to make a bowl and exactly what that bowl would look like. But the clay didn't know that. However, the clay also didn't question him/rebel when the vase it became was broken. The vase had to be broken and all the excess/gross stuff removed, and then what was left was able to be formed and fulfill/serve the original purpose and intent the designer had for the clay- to be filled to overflowing with water. And such is life as well. I had my heart set on being that beautiful vase but maybe I have another purpose. A vase can't do the same thing a bowl can, no matter how beautiful it is. I want to fulfill the plan/design the Potter has for me, not just what I think people will oooo and ahhhh at. And thus, I yield myself to the Potter, and wait to see what my end product will be. Jeremiah 18:1-6

Potter's Field Touring Ministries from Potter's Field Ministries on Vimeo.